i am vaguely aware that i should not be here, just over a day to my last paper with none of the course material in my head. there's just no inclination to study whatsoever, and it tires me just sitting down to that pile of notes. it's not like i've been studying too much or anything; if anything it might just be that six days of break in between my second last paper and the last one on thursday that's making me so sick of studying, or at least trying to study. plus staying at home is turning me into a hikikomori, slowly but surely.
but of course, it's never very fun at all reading/listening to other people's complaints, is it?
anyway, i'm really thankful for the weekly bursts of happiness (short, but very fulfilling) from walking dead, secret garden and that funny hongkong drama serial. i totally have an auntie persona (okay, so maybe i have many) in me. this one at present is the couch potato version with a vociferous demand for television. in my defence, they're really good shows! the walking dead is hands down one of the best zombie shows in a long time. it's got brilliant, brilliant make-up and a pretty solid storyline too, as a bonus. it's been a while since i've watched a zombie show that actually made me nervous while watching it. it's the kind of program that literally draws you in and your heart starts racing just watching it.
and secret garden is probably going to be one of the most fondly-remembered korean dramas for a while. it's got a stellar cast fronted by hyun bin and ha ji won, and that alone is more than enough reason to watch it. hyun bin himself is more than enough reason to watch the show. after the snow queen he can do no wrong in my eyes, but even with that he outdoes himself in secret garden. his character is so hilarious and when the plot calls for it so infuriatingly self-absorbed as well. the storyline itself is good too, plus there are no tragically drawn-out deaths by long illness/sudden deaths by car crash. not yet, anyway. it IS classified as a melodrama, so i'm crossing my fingers and hoping really hard that no one dies.
and that funny hongkong drama has huang zi hua in it, and what can i say i've had a soft spot for him ever since dong du shen tan and that disgustingly sad ending that took everyone by surprise. and despite all the fan petitions for a happy ending i think it was an ending that was really appropriate after all. anyway it's totally comic relief, which is always good.
i think i've said this before, but i really do admire scriptwriters and producers and directors. scriptwriters for their amazing ability to write stories that resonate with people and producers and directors for creating a show just the way it is that it seems so perfect and how there's no other better way of framing that particular scene and that particular emotion. and maybe even artistes, for that matter, although this admiration is probably limited to those few who really make audiences feel for their characters. it's not just about looking pretty.
and it's funny how television watchers and book readers are usually in opposition to each other. why can't you enjoy a good book and also take pleasure in television too? it's like mass culture versus high culture all over again, but there are times when you just don't want to read. okay rambling rambling i should stop.
there's this song from secret garden that's been stuck in my head for a while now. before anyone thinks anything strange the lyrics do not in any way reflect what i'm thinking. i just think they're really good lyrics which a lot of people could identify with. and baek ji young's voice, what can i say. she has this quality to her voice that makes you instantly... sad? down? depressed? they're not the right words. perhaps melancholic. give it a listen if you're free.
one woman loves you
that woman loves you wholeheartedly
she follows you around like a shadow everyday
that woman is laughing and crying
how much, how much more
do i have to gaze at you alone
this love that came like the wind
this love like a beggar
if i continue this way, will you love me?
just come a little nearer
a little more
if i take one step closer to you
then you take two steps back
the me who loves you is next to you now ( i think this sounds better in chinese -- ai zhe ni de wo)
that woman is crying
that woman is timid so she learned how to laugh
that woman's heart has many stories
that she can't even tell her best friend
so her heart is full of tears
that's why, that woman,
she loved you
because you are just the same as her
yet another fool, yet another fool
can't you hug me before you go?
i want to receive love
everyday in my heart
just in my heart i shout
and that woman is next to him even today
do you know that woman is me?
you're not pretending that you don't know right?
you really don't know because you're a fool
-- that woman; baek ji young
i'm not sure about this but i kind of think this is that kind of universal feeling that everyone would have gone through. it's sappy and melodramatic and all, but when you're feeling it then it means the world to you and there're just no words for you to describe the breadth and magnitude of what you're feeling. and in a sense it's a kind of fortune to be able to feel this way for someone too, isn't it. the richness of emotion -- even if it's sadness -- that probably only comes your way a couple of times in your life, if you're lucky. which is probably one reason why dramas are so popular i think. they allow you to relive over and over again such depth of emotion. and if you watch the drama then you'll fully understand what i mean, but the song fits the drama so perfectly. plus baek ji young recorded a second version of the song -- "that man" instead of "that woman". see, universal feeling, i told you.
wynne was telling me some time ago that korean songs have this way of going from a low note to a high note (there was some term for it i think but i can't remember ):) which makes the song sound so much richer. and i love this aspect of korean songs. they're so powerful moodchangers precisely because of the way they fall and lift and fall and lift.
it seems a long time ago that i promised myself to master japanese and korean in the next five years. i think i have three left now come end of this year. listening to songs like this make me wish so fervently that i could understand korean because the translation just mangles it. even with the minute amount of korean i understand the song means so much more than the english version. or maybe i'm over reading it/applying it to the context of the drama.
