Wednesday, July 21, 2010
i want you to stay away from my heart.
i'm back, but closing my eyes i can still see the streets and hear the sounds. and smell the fried chicken, haha. if there's one thing i miss most i think it's korean fried chicken. it's really different.
music: sick enough to die; mc mong ft. mellow
tune out the world ; 3:54 PM
i'm forever in two minds about everything, and never wholeheartedly committed to feeling something. happens for every single thing, which sometimes annoys me to no end. like coming back, i'm half happy and half regretful. okay, maybe more than just half regretful. more than once on the trip i seriously considered what it would feel like just giving everything up and staying there indefinitely, get a job that provides lodging as well and live my life day to day. but then sanity kicks in and i start thinking about all the impracticalities and how devastating it would be when i finally quit dreaming.
and then the half happy part of me thinks how nice it is to be home and safe and secure.
just once, i wonder how it'd feel like to be completely and fully happy. sounds very depressing but i'm not in any way feeling under the weather. it's actually something to work towards i think. anyway i've received so much on this trip i guess it's time to start giving back because like everyone knows only very special people are able to receive without giving.
thinking about school gives me this sick, sick feeling deep inside. ):
Labels: photos, thoughts, trips
tune out the world ; 3:54 PM
Saturday, July 3, 2010
can't make sense of anything
doing up the itinerary for korea in between waiting for the guild 2 to stop going out of sync makes me look so much more forward to actually going for the trip. it's only seven more days away and as strange as it sounds it both seems really far off and really soon. really far off because i honestly cannot wait to finally fly off and enjoy my holidays instead of working my guts out, and really soon because we booked this trip so much in advance (i think it was at least two months in advance) so it seemed as if it would take an eternity before the date finally arrived. which, come to think of it, it kind of did anyway.
tune out the world ; 10:24 PM
i half wish i had a better camera so i could take more decent photos over there but i guess it's more the photographer than the camera really so i will make do. (: okay that makes me sound like i'm boasting about my amazing photo-taking skills but i don't mean that. i mean even if i had some top-of-the-line camera i probably wouldn't be able to take photos as nice as someone else with just an iphone or something.
two days break from work! makes me very happy. without realising it i've worked most of the holidays away already and even though they're really short-handed i can't bring myself to work that much for the rest of the holidays. i'm hoping more new staff will come in so i can quietly take myself out of the schedule. see, i'm not that nice a person after all, because if i were really nice i wouldn't just think of myself and take random days off instead of helping out.
driving test is on august 16! i am awfully unprepared and very tempted to book about ten more lessons that i know i will regret. it's not just the waking up so early that gets to me it's just a strange nameless dread i have whenever i know i have a driving lesson on for the day. but best to get it done and out of the way first time round so i don't have to bother with it any longer i guess. so i will go book more lessons instead of waiting around and moaning about my awful lack of driving ability.
music: like being hit by a bullet; baek ji young
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 10:24 PM