Monday, November 14, 2011
forever the name on my lips
moved to here.
i think i might miss this template after all. while i do love the simplicity of the tumblr layout i really like this current blogger template. maybe when I have more free time and all i'll get down to customizing the tumblr one.
music: last kiss; taylor swift
tune out the world ; 10:07 PM
i think i might miss this template after all. while i do love the simplicity of the tumblr layout i really like this current blogger template. maybe when I have more free time and all i'll get down to customizing the tumblr one.
music: last kiss; taylor swift
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 10:07 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
is that right, rambo
listening to this makes my day instantly better!
i know this isn't what i usually listen to or what i usually recommend, and i doubt it would mean much or seem particularly nice at all to you guys, but somehow i just feel strangely happy listening to this. which is never a bad thing! so give it a try i guess. i don't know, it might work the same way for you. and it might help if you watched the movies (both the first one and this second one) too. by the way, no, that wasn't a subtle hint for you to go watch the movies. i really enjoyed them, and thought they were really funny but i get that they might not appeal to everyone. they're very funny though! but so replete with cusses ("get your stupid fking rope." haha! okay no one else is going to get this.). after watching both movies in a row it takes genuine effort not to curse. i usually make an effort not to, or not out loud in any case, but i curse so much more in my head now after watching the two movies.
doesn't help that they have such cute irish accents! although they do slip into normal american accents sometimes. i wish i could do accents too. it's such a useful talent.
anyway i think being on exchange makes me think a lot more about what i could do alone. okay this seems like an abrupt change of topic, but it's kind of related. it's not "what i could do alone" in general really, more like "where i could go alone". i've been watching a couple of movies and all these few days and sometimes looking at all these places i feel like there're still so many places that i should go to and experience by myself. i know, it's not exactly reasonable to feel this way when i'm already alone here in a new land and all. it's not as if i particularly hate travelling with people, or that i dislike being around people or anything, but exchange has really made me appreciate being able to be on my own a lot more. like i mentioned previously, the first few days i think i really wasn't prepared to handle so much on my own, but now i feel like i've underestimated myself somehow. there're still a lot of things that i can't do, or can't do well (*cough* cooking *cough*). but there are a whole lot of other things that i can do, and which i previously imagined i wouldn't be able to or that i would have a hard time doing. maybe it's all just got to do with adapting. but i'm surprisingly a lot better at adapting than i gave myself credit for.
doesn't help that they have such cute irish accents! although they do slip into normal american accents sometimes. i wish i could do accents too. it's such a useful talent.
anyway i think being on exchange makes me think a lot more about what i could do alone. okay this seems like an abrupt change of topic, but it's kind of related. it's not "what i could do alone" in general really, more like "where i could go alone". i've been watching a couple of movies and all these few days and sometimes looking at all these places i feel like there're still so many places that i should go to and experience by myself. i know, it's not exactly reasonable to feel this way when i'm already alone here in a new land and all. it's not as if i particularly hate travelling with people, or that i dislike being around people or anything, but exchange has really made me appreciate being able to be on my own a lot more. like i mentioned previously, the first few days i think i really wasn't prepared to handle so much on my own, but now i feel like i've underestimated myself somehow. there're still a lot of things that i can't do, or can't do well (*cough* cooking *cough*). but there are a whole lot of other things that i can do, and which i previously imagined i wouldn't be able to or that i would have a hard time doing. maybe it's all just got to do with adapting. but i'm surprisingly a lot better at adapting than i gave myself credit for.
so yes, i've really been thinking about all the places i could go to alone. travelling alone does bring a lot of inconveniences, but it's so much freedom. and with all that freedom you could really delve into whatever interests you in some place or another, instead of having to accommodate everyone else. i really do enjoy family trips and all, but my memories of wherever we go to seem to be mainly limited to the meals that we had. because it's only during mealtimes that we're really all just seated together and enjoying the company. like when we went to China. i really don't remember too much of it, or where we went (aside from the Great Wall and Xitang, and only because they were pretty hard to forget).
although i know it's quite improbable (parents, sigh), but i want to go off travelling alone so much so that i get sick and tired of my own company. when that happens i'll go back home, and then i'll never go off alone again. wouldn't that be nice.
but we all have our own obligations that shackle us, i guess.
anyway, since this exchange is probably one of the last times i'll be able to be so free and unencumbered i'm going to really make the most of it and stop shuttling between my dorm and my classes. except on mondays, because that's when TWD episodes become available. (:
by the way, i was listening to that theme song (the blood of cuchulainn -- please don't ask me how to pronounce this haha) while typing out this entire entry. wonder if it shows! the happiness the song makes me feel, i mean. it's so uplifting! or maybe it's the general effect that tuesdays have on me, because tuesdays mean that i'll be very free for the next two days since i only have like one class on each day. and true to my decision to make the most of exchange and to stop being a hermit in my dorm room i'm going out both days, and on the weekend too! grocery shopping tomorrow (yay more chances to experiment with cooking) and then i'm headed to shinjuku for thursday. please be nice murphy, and don't let it rain!
Labels: amusements, goodstuff, music, thoughts
tune out the world ; 8:53 PM
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
the sound of your voice
first rainy day in japan, and i got drenched! yes i know i sound mildly happy and it's weird to be happy when you're soaked to the skin and shivering in the cold but it was really kind of fun. it's been raining since the morning, and you hardly ever get rain that lasts so long in singapore. just to prove that i'm normal, i was really quite miserable when trudging back in the rain, but i think one of the nicest things about rainy days is how comfortable it feels to be sitting inside, dry and out of the rain. it's only when i'm actually caught in the rain that i don't like the rain. really hoping i don't fall sick though! that's something i definitely don't want to experience when i'm here almost all alone.
the wet clothes are really a bother though, because i hadn't planned on doing laundry till the weekend. usually i fold up the clothes to be washed and stack them in a pile in the closet, but because they're so wet i can't do anything to them yet. now they're just hanging around and i'm hoping they'll become relatively dry! my poor gap pullover is also very wet and i'm a bit worried about washing that one because the colour might run. maybe i could wash it with the jeans or something.
it's apparently also going to rain tomorrow, and i really don't want to have to go out! but tomorrow's the only free day i have in common with my tutor for this week, so we'll have to go out really early in the morning to open a bank account. i think i'll chance it wearing my flip flops haha although it gets bitterly cold when it rains and in the morning. bringing my doc martens was such a mistake! i baby them so much at home already and refuse to wear them if i'm going to be doing a lot of walking or if it's raining because i don't want to get them dirty. here i doubt there'll ever be a day i decide wearing them will be safe. maybe when i'm absolutely sure it's not going to rain and when i'm only going to walk to the language centre next to my dorm haha.
placement test today went okay, i think. at least i got into the level i wanted to get in. crossing my fingers and hoping that it'll be mappable to japanese 6 back at nus. i really don't want to take japanese 6 at nus because i don't think it'll be with nagami sensei and i'm way too used to the way he teaches and the pace of his teaching. classes start on friday and i think i'm kind of looking forward to classes actually. i feel like such a nerd haha but i haven't been a student for almost five months! you know how they always say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. so not having school work makes me miss school work. it's really logical! i'm not weird. honest.
maroon 5's how is on repeat this week! it's not as well-known a song from their hands all over album, and honestly i hadn't heard of it until we got the album for my brother. it's a really good song though! adam levine's voice is amazing as usual.
love the lyrics too. (:
music: how; maroon 5
tune out the world ; 9:32 PM
the wet clothes are really a bother though, because i hadn't planned on doing laundry till the weekend. usually i fold up the clothes to be washed and stack them in a pile in the closet, but because they're so wet i can't do anything to them yet. now they're just hanging around and i'm hoping they'll become relatively dry! my poor gap pullover is also very wet and i'm a bit worried about washing that one because the colour might run. maybe i could wash it with the jeans or something.
it's apparently also going to rain tomorrow, and i really don't want to have to go out! but tomorrow's the only free day i have in common with my tutor for this week, so we'll have to go out really early in the morning to open a bank account. i think i'll chance it wearing my flip flops haha although it gets bitterly cold when it rains and in the morning. bringing my doc martens was such a mistake! i baby them so much at home already and refuse to wear them if i'm going to be doing a lot of walking or if it's raining because i don't want to get them dirty. here i doubt there'll ever be a day i decide wearing them will be safe. maybe when i'm absolutely sure it's not going to rain and when i'm only going to walk to the language centre next to my dorm haha.
placement test today went okay, i think. at least i got into the level i wanted to get in. crossing my fingers and hoping that it'll be mappable to japanese 6 back at nus. i really don't want to take japanese 6 at nus because i don't think it'll be with nagami sensei and i'm way too used to the way he teaches and the pace of his teaching. classes start on friday and i think i'm kind of looking forward to classes actually. i feel like such a nerd haha but i haven't been a student for almost five months! you know how they always say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. so not having school work makes me miss school work. it's really logical! i'm not weird. honest.
maroon 5's how is on repeat this week! it's not as well-known a song from their hands all over album, and honestly i hadn't heard of it until we got the album for my brother. it's a really good song though! adam levine's voice is amazing as usual.
love the lyrics too. (:
music: how; maroon 5
Labels: day-to-day, goodstuff, music, thoughts
tune out the world ; 9:32 PM
Sunday, October 2, 2011
can't you
haven't really felt like blogging for the past few days although i did have quite some free time. finally more or less settled in my room now! it feels really strange to call the room mine though, since i've never really had a room to myself. feels even stranger that it's supposed to be "home" for the next few months. and i thought it'd take me a relatively long period of adjustment and all, but by the second day i already caught myself saying stuff like "when i get home..." in reference to the dorm room.
nothing will feel quite like home home though! i'm not exactly counting down to when i get to go back home to sunny singapore but i must say i'm quite looking forward to going home. this seems quite inappropriate given that it hasn't even been a week since i've been here. time seems to really slip away very fast though. it doesn't feel like i've been here six days. but i'm not moping around being homesick! although i must admit the first two days i was quite overwhelmed by all the things i needed to do by myself and was even starting to regret a little my decision to come on exchange. but i think the worst has passed, now that things are more or less settling into quite a comfortable routine.
the room's almost a little too quiet for me though. good for studying but i get restless much more than usual now. i never realised it before, but back home there was always some kind of noise in the background so i think i'm way more accustomed to noise than to complete silence. plus if i were a sim my social bar would be very low now haha. i'm really glad rachel is here with me though! don't know how i would have coped if i had been here alone. but we kind of both agree that even though we're right next door to each other once we close the door and go into our rooms it feels like we're completely isolated from the world outside. it was really hard to get used to this the first two days, but i think now i'm a bit more habituated to the silence now. maybe when i get back home i'll find home too noisy!
anyway school stuff will kind of officially start next week, and i'm half looking forward to it and half dreading it. as usual! i'm forever in two minds about everything. i'm a little worried about the placement test and whether i'll be able to get right back into mugging mood though, because i had such an extra long holiday i'm afraid i'm a bit too complacent about everything now. yesterday and today i tried to study for the placement test but like i mentioned earlier now i get super restless very frequently. i did manage to make a little headway though! just not sure if it'll be enough. if i'm not able to get into the module mappable to japanese 6 i'll have to take it again in nus and it'll be such a waste of time.
yi xiu comes to join us tomorrow and rachel and i are both hoping that she won't be too appalled by our way of life haha! we're seriously leading such unhealthy lives now. i'm kind of missing home-cooked food because all we've been having is convenience stores meals, instant food and meals outside. and in an attempt to eat more healthily we had to actively look for fruits to buy. so far we've bought apples and bananas! i'm very tempted to get kiwis since they're one of my favourite fruits but neither of us have knives so we can't have kiwis yet. can't wait for the bazaar on the 19th. apparently they sell cookware and utensils and stuff for much cheaper prices than outside so we're waiting for the bazaar to stock up on pots and pans and all sorts of cooking stuff. maybe after that we'll finally be able to eat more home (or dorm) cooked meals and less unhealthy instant stuff! now when i get food i find those meals proclaiming to fulfil one-third of our daily requirement of vegetables so appealing.
going to get my temporary alien certificate tomorrow morning. i think i'll bring my camera along so i can take some pictures of the campus to show you guys. it's actually a very pretty campus. and the trees are all gradually shedding their leaves now so i should take pictures before they all become bare. even then i think the campus should be quite scenic still. speaking of which, i'm totally here in the wrong season. apparently the trees lining the road at the back of the campus (which is what my balcony looks out upon) are all cherry blossom trees. imagine how pretty it'd be when they all bloom!
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
tune out the world ; 8:10 PM
nothing will feel quite like home home though! i'm not exactly counting down to when i get to go back home to sunny singapore but i must say i'm quite looking forward to going home. this seems quite inappropriate given that it hasn't even been a week since i've been here. time seems to really slip away very fast though. it doesn't feel like i've been here six days. but i'm not moping around being homesick! although i must admit the first two days i was quite overwhelmed by all the things i needed to do by myself and was even starting to regret a little my decision to come on exchange. but i think the worst has passed, now that things are more or less settling into quite a comfortable routine.
the room's almost a little too quiet for me though. good for studying but i get restless much more than usual now. i never realised it before, but back home there was always some kind of noise in the background so i think i'm way more accustomed to noise than to complete silence. plus if i were a sim my social bar would be very low now haha. i'm really glad rachel is here with me though! don't know how i would have coped if i had been here alone. but we kind of both agree that even though we're right next door to each other once we close the door and go into our rooms it feels like we're completely isolated from the world outside. it was really hard to get used to this the first two days, but i think now i'm a bit more habituated to the silence now. maybe when i get back home i'll find home too noisy!
anyway school stuff will kind of officially start next week, and i'm half looking forward to it and half dreading it. as usual! i'm forever in two minds about everything. i'm a little worried about the placement test and whether i'll be able to get right back into mugging mood though, because i had such an extra long holiday i'm afraid i'm a bit too complacent about everything now. yesterday and today i tried to study for the placement test but like i mentioned earlier now i get super restless very frequently. i did manage to make a little headway though! just not sure if it'll be enough. if i'm not able to get into the module mappable to japanese 6 i'll have to take it again in nus and it'll be such a waste of time.
yi xiu comes to join us tomorrow and rachel and i are both hoping that she won't be too appalled by our way of life haha! we're seriously leading such unhealthy lives now. i'm kind of missing home-cooked food because all we've been having is convenience stores meals, instant food and meals outside. and in an attempt to eat more healthily we had to actively look for fruits to buy. so far we've bought apples and bananas! i'm very tempted to get kiwis since they're one of my favourite fruits but neither of us have knives so we can't have kiwis yet. can't wait for the bazaar on the 19th. apparently they sell cookware and utensils and stuff for much cheaper prices than outside so we're waiting for the bazaar to stock up on pots and pans and all sorts of cooking stuff. maybe after that we'll finally be able to eat more home (or dorm) cooked meals and less unhealthy instant stuff! now when i get food i find those meals proclaiming to fulfil one-third of our daily requirement of vegetables so appealing.
going to get my temporary alien certificate tomorrow morning. i think i'll bring my camera along so i can take some pictures of the campus to show you guys. it's actually a very pretty campus. and the trees are all gradually shedding their leaves now so i should take pictures before they all become bare. even then i think the campus should be quite scenic still. speaking of which, i'm totally here in the wrong season. apparently the trees lining the road at the back of the campus (which is what my balcony looks out upon) are all cherry blossom trees. imagine how pretty it'd be when they all bloom!
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 8:10 PM
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
more than goodbye
blogging because i feel very accomplished today! making a list really helped to show me how much i needed to rush things i think, because i felt so motivated to do work today. updating the list now! thought of more things that i needed to get done anyway.
-finish 2 more transcribings just 1 left
-finish lek's data analysis
-finish tarn's data analysis
- study for the placement test ):
-open a bank account
- pack
-meet my sister for lunch
-get my brother's birthday present giving him money because i can't find the cd he wants
- meet the pooks for dinner on thursday
- meet the interns for breakfast on friday
- meet wynne, sam and rab for dinner on friday
- meet su kie for lunch on sunday
- get bags for the cameras :D and a screen protector for oly
- get random stuff i need for the trip
-exchange money
data analysis jobs aren't quite done yet but they haven't given me new things to do yet so i'm going to just strike them off first.
i think i will put packing off until at least saturday or sunday.
----------
kind of disappointed with norwegian wood actually, because i was half-expecting it to become an all-time favourite given the rave reviews it had gotten. it's sadly quite flat on the whole when you consider the book in its totality, but where it shines is in little moments i think. like that paragraph i just quoted.
sometimes i feel like we're all just really stuck in the middle of a euripidean tragedy.
----------
wish the typhoon would just go away, seriously.
music: just a feeling; maroon 5
tune out the world ; 10:46 PM
-
-
-
- study for the placement test ):
-
- pack
-
-
- meet the pooks for dinner on thursday
- meet the interns for breakfast on friday
- meet wynne, sam and rab for dinner on friday
- meet su kie for lunch on sunday
- get bags for the cameras :D and a screen protector for oly
- get random stuff i need for the trip
-
data analysis jobs aren't quite done yet but they haven't given me new things to do yet so i'm going to just strike them off first.
i think i will put packing off until at least saturday or sunday.
----------
"what marks his plays is the way things get so mixed up the characters are trapped. do you see what i mean? lots of different people appear, and they all have their own situations and reasons and excuses, and each one is pursuing his or her own idea of justice or happiness. as a result, nobody can do anything. obviously. i mean, it's basically impossible for everybody's justice to prevail or everybody's happiness to triumph, so chaos takes over. and then what do you think happens? simple -- a god appears at the end and starts directing the traffic. 'you go over there, and you come here, and you get together with her, and you just sit still for a while.' like that. he's a kind of fixer, and in the end everything works out perfectly. they call this 'deus ex machina'."--- watanabe describing euripides in norwegian wood
kind of disappointed with norwegian wood actually, because i was half-expecting it to become an all-time favourite given the rave reviews it had gotten. it's sadly quite flat on the whole when you consider the book in its totality, but where it shines is in little moments i think. like that paragraph i just quoted.
sometimes i feel like we're all just really stuck in the middle of a euripidean tragedy.
----------
wish the typhoon would just go away, seriously.
music: just a feeling; maroon 5
tune out the world ; 10:46 PM
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
no sunshine
last week left here before i leave for japan and it's crazy how much i have left to do. actually it's not even a week, since it's already past midnight so that means i have 6 days left here. so, in a bid to prove to myself how i need to stretch these 6 days way thin to actually finish what i have to do, i'm going to list them all.
- finish 2 more transcribings
- finish lek's data analysis
- finish tarn's data analysis
- study for the placement test ):
- open a bank account
- pack
- meet my sister for lunch
- get my brother's birthday present
- meet the pooks for supper on wednesday and dinner on thursday
- meet the interns for breakfast on friday
- meet su kie for dinner on sunday
- get bags for the cameras :D
- get random stuff i need for the trip
and i think there's more stuff that i can't remember at the moment. i just know that there's a lot i have to deal with now and i need to finish them all before i leave so i won't have to rush everything in japan.
need more timeeeeeee. ):
music: just a feeling; maroon 5
tune out the world ; 1:24 AM
- finish 2 more transcribings
- finish lek's data analysis
- finish tarn's data analysis
- study for the placement test ):
- open a bank account
- pack
- meet my sister for lunch
- get my brother's birthday present
- meet the pooks for supper on wednesday and dinner on thursday
- meet the interns for breakfast on friday
- meet su kie for dinner on sunday
- get bags for the cameras :D
- get random stuff i need for the trip
and i think there's more stuff that i can't remember at the moment. i just know that there's a lot i have to deal with now and i need to finish them all before i leave so i won't have to rush everything in japan.
need more timeeeeeee. ):
music: just a feeling; maroon 5
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 1:24 AM
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
it's the way he seems to stare right through my eyes
 |
-- number9dream; david mitchell
imagine having a library like that. actually just imagine being in a library like that.
oh and this is probably the first photo from the new camera that i'm showing you guys. although i am tearing my hair out and cannot begin to comprehend why sometimes numbers just keep flashing at me and why the camera refuses to take photos i am still having a lot of fun with it. too much fun, really, because it's a major distraction when i should probably be revising really hard for my placement test.
anyway to take that picture i accidentally made a new crease in the spine of the book. ):< don't know if i've told anyone else before (i know i told my sister though) but i really like my books to be nicely kept. it doesn't have to be completely pristine but i really don't like books with random creases down the spine or folded corners. that said, however, if it has to be old and well-read i'd rather it be extremely so. just not somewhere in the middle. okay i know i'm weird that way. stop thinking i'm weird i already know i am.
i hope this post works out to be a long one. yes, this is my attempt to prove that my brain is not yet completely twitterified and i can still think thoughts that are more than 140 characters long. actually, does anyone else find it difficult to encapsulate everything into 140 characters? i frequently find myself going over the limit and having to go back and type everything in short form or rephrasing everything altogether. and then it doesn't even feel like something i would type any more.
i'm not sure when i started typing in full sentences without abbreviations and all and with (dare i say it) decent grammar even for things like text messages and stuff online. but i think it's a good thing. at least it stops my language ability from degenerating any further, i suppose. although i guess it's probably not very good for people receiving my texts because they routinely end up several pages long. speaking of which, does anyone else find obscenely short messages annoying? this is not directed at anyone in particular, by the way. i don't think i have friends like this it's usually just people from school. anyway i just find really short texts very frustrating. it's like talking to someone who doesn't want to talk and just grunts in reply. especially people with iphones and blackberries. you know how the text message screen is styled like a chat window so in addition to obscenely short messages they send you several at one go. so for people like me still using ancient nokia phones i'll be halfway through typing my essay to you and i get 3 more messages.
okay i don't know why this is shaping out to be a post full of complaints but i didn't mean for it to be! anyway i realise i never really plan my posts at all. i usually have just a few things i want to talk about but then they're usually very disparate stuff so i end up with very disjointed posts that ramble on about nothing in particular. like this one that started with a library and that has ended up in complaints.
but it's not all bad i'm actually very happy these few days. (:
alright cliffhanger ending where i don't tell you why i'm happy.
music: just a feeling; maroon 5
tune out the world ; 4:00 PM
Monday, September 5, 2011
aim for my heart if you feel like
still finding it kind of surreal that in about three weeks' time i will be leaving for tokyo and leaving all that i've ever known for the next few months at least. wonder how the first few days there will feel.
tune out the world ; 12:08 AM
thinking of migrating to tumblr because i'm finding it harder than ever to write lengthy posts. yes twitter, i blame you.
very random i know, but moves like jagger, just a feeling and out of goodbyes have reminded me all over again why maroon 5 has got to be one of the best bands ever.
this post is the epitome of disjointedness. makes me think of that jasper fforde book where everyone has lessened attention spans.
oh no now i think like a goldfish!
oh no now i think like a goldfish!
music: moves like jagger; maroon 5
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 12:08 AM
Friday, August 12, 2011
who do you think you are
very overwhelmed by the extent to which i am affected by things outside of my control.
is it morbid to be anticipating an end to this smooth cruising high? it's not as if i'm imagining what would happen if the fall did come, but instead i'm thinking i should enjoy this while it lasts because the fall will come and it's just a matter of time.
tune out the world ; 4:20 PM
Saturday, May 28, 2011
before you go.
i have survived a week of work! i know it doesn't sound like much of an achievement but it really wasn't easy. it's not like the work is hard or anything, though. in fact it's really quite the opposite i think i've really just spent the entire week reading journal articles so if anything it's like school all over again. sometimes i catch myself almost wishing for more concrete work that's set out for me to do. like write a literature review or something. so far my reporting officer has been really nice about everything and i think he doesn't want to scare me off with too much work. but i feel like i'm not able to help with anything at all. ):
most of the time he just comes by near the end of the work day to check on my progress but so far the two reviews that we've had have only been verbal so i don't even know (a) if my thoughts are structured enough when i say them and (b) whether i've been doing things correctly or not. and i think i haven't been reading academic articles for too long it takes me three rereads for some articles to even understand a little what it all is about. but it's good practice i guess! especially since what i'm doing now is related to what i'm doing in school anyway so it'll all help in the long run.
the worst thing about work now is the time i think. because it's so far away i have to go out and take a bus at 6.30am and since it's not bus 10 there isn't even anything to look at but expressways. and i don't know why but somehow i'm always so tired that i fall asleep almost immediately after i get on the second bus at the interchange. even when i had to go take bus 10 to school for my 8am tutorial it wasn't so hard. and 8.30am to 6pm is really tiring i'm always horribly drained by the time 6pm swings around even if i really have only been sitting in an air-conditioned office the whole day. there's just something about it that totally drains me.
before this internship i really never understood why people were so against doing office/deskbound jobs because i always believed that there would be a kind of satisfaction that came from mundane tasks like filing papers or something. even something like doing up excel sheets. it might be boring but at least there would be some semblance of order in your life. but i've had a change of mind already i think after this internship i will have had enough of being at a desk the entire day. it's funny how doing something so sedentary will make you so tired but i think even a busy weekend at whathewants wasn't as tiring as one day of sitting at the office.
but i was counting the number of days for the internship and i realised if i only count the workdays it only lasts 7 weeks. so i'll make the most of the 7 weeks and try and contribute as much as i can! plus everyone at the office seems so nice. they try so hard to make me feel more comfortable and i really appreciate their efforts. but being so socially inept sometimes all i can do is smile and then i feel bad because if i were them i would think i was being patronising/not even really listening.
someday i should go take a course/get one of those self-help books on how to be a great conversationalist or something and save myself the agony.
anyway i just realised i'll be working away the entire GSS again ): i have no luck with GSS at all i'm never able to shop when it comes around! the next round of summer holidays i swear if i work at all i will go and do some slack part time job that won't take up so much time. i should take time off as a student before i graduate and start work and there's no longer any time left to do anything but climb along slowly till we all fall down.
baek ji young's live rendition of that woman. she has such an amazing voice. and she's really pretty when she smiles! like right at the start. even her eyes crinkle up into smiles as well. it's the kind of smile that's so infectious and i realise this would sound more normal if i were a guy or if i were describing a guy instead. ahem. anyway if anyone reading this has watched secret garden i think that sit-up scene at the beginning of the video before she starts singing is one of my all-time favourite kdrama scenes. it's so cute! :D i feel like rewatching the drama again. hyun bin! :D
Labels: day-to-day, thoughts
tune out the world ; 9:43 PM
Friday, May 20, 2011
you who couldn't even be average
it worries me that what i'm most concerned about in the days leading up to the start of my internship is what i'm going to wear. i feel like such a bimbo for thinking about things like this! it ought to be stuff like "will i be able to do what they want me to do?" or "do i remember enough about statistics to help with their research?" or "will i even be able to add value in any way at all to their work?" or "such a wonderful opportunity for gaining experience this is!" that should be swimming around in my head right now. but no at this moment all i can honestly say is that i'm only thinking about what to wear.
tune out the world ; 2:04 PM
if i were my employer i'd be seriously reconsidering my decision to hire me now.
but it's really a very important concern! someone told me that a friend was fired on the first day because of inappropriate attire. by the way, i am really sorry if that someone is you because i have horrid memory for who says what i only remember the what and not the who. it happens for everyone because of my amazing ability to only remember parts of stuff and not the whole. i have a brain like a goldfish. which, incidentally, has only a memory span of three seconds. bet you didn't know that. and i don't know why i remember only silly facts like that.
anyway it's a pressing concern for me because even though this isn't my first job it is the first one in which i have to be dressed more presentably since for the other two dressing really wasn't that important at all.
so in short i think i have legitimate reason to feel concerned about this. yes i'm really just trying to justify my acting like an airhead. please don't point that out let it just sit in my subconscious. at least i'm going to be proactive about it and go out and look for more work-appropriate clothes!
i am sorry reading this has been such a waste of your time because this has been such an immensely frivolous post. i just feel obligated somehow to blog because i don't want my blog to die just because i've got twitter now.
new baek ji young song! if you're a kdrama watcher i'm sure you've heard her songs before they're always used as drama osts. this one grows on you the more you listen to it even though it's not as much of an instant favourite like her previous ones were.
always meeting average guys
always loving averagely
in an average looking house
with average children
only feeling average pain
only feeling average happiness
just wondering which is better -- to live so averagely or to put up with intense pain to feel intensely happy at times.
music: baek ji young; average
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 2:04 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2011
i climbed the tree to see the world
my social psychology tutor has this habit of playing music before she starts the lesson, because it's an 8am tutorial that half the class is late for every week. usually i reach really early, so i always get to hear the songs that she plays at the start. but because it's also my busiest day of the week when most of my assignments are due, i normally rush to get some work done so it becomes just background music to me. some time ago -- i think the tutorial two or three weeks ago -- she played this song.
tune out the world ; 1:22 PM
three seconds into the opening piano segment i stopped what i was doing and sat and listened to the song, completely absorbed.
sometimes i find music truly, truly amazing. although i guess some people might disagree, i like that you don't have to be technically versed in music to recognize a beautiful song when you hear one. i don't know if it was just me who felt the song this way; most of the other people in the classroom seemed oblivious. if you listen to the song i hope you find it as beautiful as i did.
lyrics if you couldn't make out the words -- i know i couldn't until i specifically listened for the lyrics because i was too preoccupied with listening to the piano and the way his voice turns (there must be some technical term for this but i don't know how else to describe it).
out in the garden where we planted the seedsthere is a tree as old as mebranches are sewn by the colour of griefground had arose and passed its kneesby the cracks of its skin i climbed to the topi climbed the tree to see the worldwhen the gusts came around to blow me downi held on as tightly as you held onto mei held on as tightly as you held onto meand i built a homefor youfor meuntil it disappearedfrom mefrom youand now it's timeto leaveand turn to dust
music: to build a home; the cinematic orchestra
tune out the world ; 1:22 PM
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
i wonder if you know
on the bus today i suddenly realised i now have a relatively clearly formulated answer to "what do you think is your greatest weakness" type of interview questions:
i dwell too much on compliments, because i try too hard to please.
i know for some people it's walking, but for me it's bus rides that make me super self-reflexive, which is also why i normally enjoy (prefer?) long bus rides alone.
i'm turning into more of a social recluse every day. i just tire of people sometimes.
-----------------------
that previous sentence makes this song i want to talk about so ironic. anyway i like this much, much more than the tamia original.
times like this when i have more than one song i want on constant repeat make me wish i had a player that lets me create playlists on the go. but i still love the one i have now even if it's almost embarrassingly old; at least the battery doesn't die on me even if i use it everyday without charging it for a week. and yes, that is a dig at all you swanky apple users and your constant need to charge up haha.
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 8:05 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
i miss you even more.
i shouldn't be here because what i should be doing is typing my japanese blog post instead. but i am stuck because i honestly have too many thoughts in my head now to be able to sift out the relevant ones. it's a very strange topic anyway; what can you say about marriage/men and women?
i should just translate dane cook's brain ninjas stand-up skit. but that is going to turn out waaaaay weird in japanese.
やめたほうがいい。
since i'm here anyway, i'm going to try and make this a decent post so i won't disappoint my ardent readers (that means you, sam, since i think you're just about the only person who comes here anymore haha. and yvonne of the yukon too).
very pleasantly surprised by japanese and intercultural communication midterms, and when i say very i really mean very. but then media writing had to come along and dampen my spirits. but no matter at least there're rewrites for media writing! not that they help very much but any help is good i guess.
and i think i'm finally beginning to really appreciate the morning bus rides to school every wednesday even if it means i have to wake up at ungodly hours. when i'm not drifting off to sleep (and hitting my head really loudly on the window pane -- so embarrassing -_-) i get to see the first rays of morning creep up and light up the sky. i'm sure it'd be so much more picturesque if there weren't that many buildings in the way, but even the light filtered through the spaces between the buildings is pretty. and when you go over the bridge and you see the marina bay area it really almost feels worthy of a postcard. i would take a picture to try and show you guys what it looks like, but (a) the smudges on the window would kill the scene, (b) probably wouldn't be able to take a good picture on a moving bus (thank you mr. bus uncle for always driving so fast and getting me to school in good time), (c) a picture wouldn't be able to fully capture the light and how it hits the ground and surfaces and (d) someone might make off with my camera while i'm asleep.
use your imagination, kids, like spongebob always says.
or you can just wake up to take the bus at an unearthly time like i do.
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 11:24 PM
Saturday, March 19, 2011
you will never know
upset over many little things because so many things are not going the way i intend them to.
i was writing my study group report for japanese, and was trying to describe the frustration of not being able to say what i most wanted to say in japanese. but then i realised it happens even for english now -- sometimes words just fail me. and it's doubly as frustrating when it happens for english. it's not like i was amazingly eloquent to begin with, but i've always taken some pride at least in being good at english. i wouldn't mind as much if i couldn't convey what i wanted to say in chinese or japanese, because i would expect that. but nowadays i take so much time going over a sentence agonizing over how to put down what i really mean into words. it's happening so frequently now it scares me. i don't know how language ability can just vanish so suddenly and swiftly. or maybe it's because i'm just beginning to take notice of it now, and it has really always been this way?
sometimes i even catch myself explaining something in japanese -- or worse, in (bad) korean -- to myself. maybe things are starting to leak out of my head because it's filled to capacity, so the more things i learn in japanese the more english and chinese i forget. but it's really frustrating, especially when you want to say something and you can only remember how to say so exactly in some other language that the person you are talking to won't understand anyway.
it's like enforced silence. because i can't say what i really want people to know i figure i should just not talk. but not talking isn't the solution either. there'll be a deluge of reports for the next few weeks, so writing will be a problem too. i can already foresee so much frustration in doing them.
exchange might be cancelled, because of all the problems in japan now. i really don't know how i'll react if it really is cancelled. if it really is cancelled i hope i get the news when i'm home and alone. i've been looking so forward to it that it almost seems like it's already a done deal and that i'll just have to count down to the trip. but now everything's hanging in the balance. don't count your chickens before they're hatched, right? should have thought about that before everything.
not doing very well in my new media modules as well, so my cap is in danger too. but i've really been working hard, so the frustration piles up when you get back an assignment that you know you have really put in effort for and for which your grade is less than satisfactory. even my film and literature module for japanese studies isn't going well. and it really isn't like i don't try. i've worked hard for every assignment so i don't know what's going wrong. with media writing it just feels like i'm not cut out for writing simply. don't know if it's because i have convoluted thoughts or if it's because i'm just not good at writing.
work keeps coming even as i struggle to finish what i wanted to finish last week. i'm really wondering what the whole point is if you have to spend your whole life struggling to keep up. is there really any end to all of this anyway? this really shouldn't be the way to live. but i'm in arts, and it's supposed to be so much slacker than any other faculty. so it's really just a problem with me isn't it? you don't see the law or medicine students complaining very much, do you?
and then thinking about all the people in japan struggling with so much more than what i have to deal with now i just feel so superficial and hypocritical.
it's scary how all these thoughts just add on to each other and threaten to overwhelm me everytime i am not entirely preoccupied with something else. but i'm not depressed or anything; if i really had to describe my state of mind it would be something more like tired. i just don't understand anymore why everyone has to keep trying to reach for something their entire lives. you can call it motivation or ambition but it's really a never-ending race. you can keep running your entire life and there's no guarantee that you'll see the end even if you run so hard that you feel like you would collapse with the next step you take.
everyone's own problems seem the biggest to them. but there should be a way to look past all of this shouldn't there?
questions i will never know the answers to.
sometimes i think i make the smallest things out to be so much more than they really are, so i really just set myself up for disappointment. i have much too wild an imagination than what would be considered healthy. and because i imagine too much and ascribe too much meaning to small things i end up foolishly misleading myself to believe that certain things are true.
intercultural communication keeps going on about how we're separated from each other by the envelope of our own skins, so effectively we're always alone even if we're in a crowd and surrounded by other people. it's so fatally depressive that no matter how much you try no one will ever experience the exact sentiments that you feel. you can try and explain something a thousand times and ask"you know what i mean?" and the other person can NEVER ever really understand more than a fraction of what it is that you truly feel. on the flipside i guess it's also a good thing, in a way. it's like having a secret world into which you can retreat everytime you feel tired of dealing with the world outside. but to find someone who can understand you a bit more than that fraction that an average person would must be such a wonderful thing.
on a side note -- which totally encapsulates the warped nature of my mind -- when i typed 'we're separated from each other by the envelope of our own skins' the only image i had in my head was of pulling my skin out shred by shred in a woeful bid to have someone really understand. not going to happen, obviously, because i'm not twisted enough for that. okay actually the image i had wasn't exactly of myself; it wasn't someone i knew, just a vague sense of someone human doing so. i wonder if anyone's ever been pushed so close to the banks of sanity to contemplate doing something like that. i hope i never go close to that edge.
so glad that it's the weekend and i can at least slow down a little so i don't feel so suffocated by all the expectations. mostly they're my own expectations really, so there really isn't any pressure except that which i give myself to meet them. i just feel much more than usual that life is meant for something better than being just-so.
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 7:50 PM
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
if i continue this way will you love me
even a little comfort is enough at times.
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 9:56 PM
Monday, January 24, 2011
her heart is timid
charles warnke, thank you.
Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.
Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.
Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.
Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.
Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.
Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.
Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.
-- http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads/
i think this honestly qualifies as one of the best bits of writing i have ever read. it's not just the words he uses it's even the way he writes his sentences so they fit exactly what he's talking about in that sentence. there are so many lines in there that read so perfectly you couldn't imagine a better way to phrase them. i made them bold, but i hope that doesn't affect your reading of it.
he puts me to shame. he encapsulates all the thoughts that i wanted to get out in writing so elegantly.
to be a girl who reads.
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
tune out the world ; 12:33 AM
Friday, January 21, 2011
will you love me if i continue this way
mum's been doing random bouts of spring-cleaning (i help too i'm quite the filial daughter you know) and it's kind of scary how much stuff we have haha.
tune out the world ; 11:43 PM
these are just one half of the shoes we have. there's another half further to the right that i didn't include in the frame because they weren't as neatly lined up. but i swear, most of the shoes belong to either my mum or my older sister. i only have... eight or nine. but in my defense, they're all different kinds of shoes! it's not like i have five pairs of black heels or something.
and, while my mum was unpacking the cupboards outside she found a whole bunch of old photo albums. not just our childhood photos but my parents' childhood photos too heh.
and i realise old photographs kind of look polaroid-ish.
ahahahaha i laughed my head off at this photo. look at the bazooka!!
guess which one's my dad. can't believe how young they look in the photographs.
anyway while we were looking through all the old photos i was thinking how with parents you would never think to imagine that they really have been young once. all your life they're always the older, wiser ones so even though deep inside you know that obviously they've been your age before it's just difficult to fully realise what that means. it scares me a little, getting older. especially now that we're on the threshold (or already crossed the threshold, depending on how you see it) of adulthood. or maybe we're just forever stuck in emerging adulthood (japanese studies really has some practical uses haha). i cannot imagine how things would be like a few decades later.
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
and, while my mum was unpacking the cupboards outside she found a whole bunch of old photo albums. not just our childhood photos but my parents' childhood photos too heh.see the i-don't-want-to-take-photos-syndrome just runs in the family.
and i realise old photographs kind of look polaroid-ish. 
ahahahaha i laughed my head off at this photo. look at the bazooka!! 
anyway while we were looking through all the old photos i was thinking how with parents you would never think to imagine that they really have been young once. all your life they're always the older, wiser ones so even though deep inside you know that obviously they've been your age before it's just difficult to fully realise what that means. it scares me a little, getting older. especially now that we're on the threshold (or already crossed the threshold, depending on how you see it) of adulthood. or maybe we're just forever stuck in emerging adulthood (japanese studies really has some practical uses haha). i cannot imagine how things would be like a few decades later.and it also got me thinking about how parents always seem so infallible and invulnerable when you're young. there's just this mindset that no matter what happens they'll be able to handle it. but as you grow older you begin to see that's not true, and that they're really just humans after all. if there's anything that i hate most about growing out of being a child it's probably this. i know it's probably not fair to expect to depend on your parents forever but sometimes all you want is the knowledge that no matter what happens they'll be there and they'll be able to take care of everything. i know there's freedom in independence but sometimes i'd really rather just not have to think about anything at all and relish that experience of being totally dependent.
alright work work i'm so happy i'm finally up-to-date with readings although i should get my summaries done up as well. but there're all the assignments to do too ): i will never take three new media modules in one semester ever again the workload is insane even though they're all level-2000 modules. i think i had an easier time last semester even though i was taking three level-3000 modules.
music: keu yeoja; baek ji young
Labels: amusements, photos, thoughts
tune out the world ; 11:43 PM
Friday, January 7, 2011
like the wind
suddenly seized by a very active personality -- never knew i had one in me -- and hence i've been very strangely enthusiastic about signing up for all sorts of stuff. i blame re-reading ouran high actually; i think i'm kind of channelling tamaki and his senseless unending optimism. sam, about volunteering for the blood drive, it's okay if you don't want to! but i'm really keen on applying for that research assistant position for new media. it's ridiculous how i haven't even sent out the application yet and i'm already hopeful for a positive reply.
and i'm surprised how calm i am about jumping into a module with no one i know taking it. see, that's why i should have just taken media writing earlier on when most people would be taking it instead of now when everyone else has already taken it and passed. i'm already envisioning sitting alone in lectures and tutorials but somehow that thought makes me relish the experience instead of dreading it. could i be turning into even more of a hikikomori? oh the horrors. i'm sure i'll start regretting this decision soon enough though. its one saving grace is the fact that it doesn't really have group work. from what i gather it's mostly about individual work so i guess it's an unsociable module in itself that won't make much of a difference whether or not you take it with a friend or not. and i can always make friends. or not.
lately i've been realising how much of a conversation killer i am. it's like a hidden ability that springs out at you after years of hibernation so it catches you completely unaware. i've never imagined myself the social butterfly kind of person but i've never thought the other extreme either. but following all the various gatherings i've been to this past holiday i've come to the rather frightful conclusion that i'm very much socially inept. conversation literally dwindles away into nothing if i'm forced to talk with someone. it's not that i don't want to talk to that person, or don't enjoy their company. in fact it's quite the opposite, i like being around people and listening to them. but that's just it. my favourite things to do around people don't include talking. and although i've always prided myself on at least being strong at languages (okay, maybe only written chinese stop laughing at my accented chinese you horrible people pffft) and especially at english but somehow these days i'm finding myself using the wrong words and making basic grammatical mistakes i would never have allowed myself to make before.
i think it was mr hsu who said it but i can't quite remember; he said something once about how humans couldn't master multiple languages. or maybe it was really an encouragement for me not to neglect english in my study of japanese, which i seem to have already done. it's like how water spreads out in a vessel and you can't have random spikes in the water level. maybe i've reached my maximum in learning ability and i have to start emptying stuff out to get more stuff in. i feel old.
finished so much for that in technically about a day; it's been a while since i really just read the entire day without doing much else in between besides eating and occasionally sleeping. it's a really nice feeling, and it's one i'd prefer to revisit more often if possible. but now that school's starting the chances of that look pretty dismal even if it was optimistic tamaki speaking. but so much for that was refreshing, insofar as you could actually apply that word to a lionel shriver novel. it was a good read, something i would be proud to say that i have read and would readily recommend to people around me.
taking the book in from the mailbox made me realise that i really like receiving parcels in the mail. although the process of retrieving it was less than fun, really. for some reason mr postman decided he would forgo that obnoxious 'beep beep' and stuff it in the mailbox instead. that mailbox is not built for easy retrieval of a parcel easily about five centimeters thick, so i had to stand outside in the drizzle alternating between pushing and pulling to yank the book out. worth it though, if only for the pleasure of seeing my name imprinted so smugly on the front and unwrapping the parcel (really it's not mine to unwrap even though it has my name on it because technically i think my sister paid for the book after she foisted cash on me for charging it to my amex first, and she was the one who wanted it i think). ahem.
book depository is such a happy find (thank you moses!). makes me feel like i'm one step closer to having an amazing library in my future house stocked from top to bottom with books like so much for that that would stand up to years of re-reading. but that will have to come later because school is starting and that typically means nothing extra outside of assigned readings. but i will work hard this semester even if it means i do nothing but shuttle between school and home because i will push my cap up so i can make the most of my time in japan.
hyun bin's version of that man! although i love his speaking voice i think wheesung and onew have spoilt me when it comes to male singers. but given that he is mainly an actor i guess his version is decent. and the fact that it is his voice makes up for a lot. okay actually if you plug in your earphones and listen to it one more time it sounds a lot better. at least he seems to be really putting a lot into singing the song and not simply depending on his popularity as an actor for the song to be a hit. actually it wouldn't matter much to him whether the song is a hit or not; the drama is already doing so well. i'm so glad it's picked up from its first few episodes in the ratings because it is a good drama that as many people as possible should watch.
and this is for sam! the picture i promised.
i remember sam saying the other day how dramas kind of ruin real life romance because real life guys never act like guys in dramas. which makes me think about katy perry's not like the movies. even if you wait and wait and that one half seems like he'll never arrive i don't think you should settle for. there was this surprisingly good article in today once about settling down versus settling for but in my usual fashion i never thought to clip that article. with the internet nowadays it's probably hiding somewhere if i search hard enough though. anyway. if it doesn't feel perfect, if it doesn't work out, if your leg doesn't pop a la princess mia then he's not him. although it'd probably get unbearably lonely perhaps waiting forever would be preferable to settling for a less than satisfactory partner which would likely end up adding to separation rates anyway.
will sleep and dream of wonderful ramen lunch date tomorrow.
Labels: amusements, thoughts
tune out the world ; 12:56 AM
Friday, December 24, 2010
though you're far away
funny how so many christmas songs are about white christmases, when that doesn't happen for so many of us around the world. or perhaps it's not so funny after all, since the whole holiday originated from that part of the world. still i guess it'd be nice to have a white christmas at least once. we were so close to having that in europe last year, but we ended up spending it on the train to paris if i'm not wrong. perhaps if the exchange to japan really goes through i might stand a chance of seeing one next year? if the exchange goes through, that is. i'm getting kind of jittery that they have yet to send me dates for the submission of documents. i suppose i should just get all of it done first, but the testimonials part is holding me back. i've never liked having to submit testimonials. adding to that is the fact that i have done absolutely nothing in my year and a half of university besides studying. and i don't have tutors/lecturers in mind who would be able to write convincing testimonials for me. i've been told that these documents are really just a formality, but even then it would be good to have a decent testimonial.
speaking of white christmases, kim joo won's house in secret garden is unbelievably and ridiculously beautiful. especially when it snows. everything seems like it came right out of a fairytale. it's the kind of scenery you could stare at for hours and hours, hoping to imprint it in your memory but failing so woefully because you could never capture every detail minutely enough to make yourself remember exactly how it felt like seeing it then and there right before your eyes. which doesn't make sense because i obviously haven't seen that actual scenery, but it seems like it would be that kind of scenery to me. i would put up a screen capture of it but i haven't found one that perfectly shows its beauty yet. you'd need a video to show that because fitting with his chaebol character it's also as ridiculously huge as it is beautiful. -_-
if i were a sim, that'd be my lifetime wish. to own so lovely a house i wouldn't want to leave it much. i'd fill it with a library of books and dramas and stay in all day. but i'd never find one here in singapore. here's much too rushed a place.
anyway there are way too many dramas called secret garden. there's another older korean drama, a taiwanese drama and now a new local one coming up on channel u. they really need to be more imaginative with their titles. oh but the channel u drama has tender huang anyway. you know, the one i mentioned in an earlier blog post some where.
and ouch my eye hurts i think i might have sore eye or something. my left eye is now so swollen it's half the size of my right eye. and it's completely bloodshot. and it twinges when i stare at something for too long. and the smoke from the family bbq we had earlier today doesn't help at all either. great timing anyway, murphy. you really know how to upset plans.
oh and here's wheesung's remake of michael jackson's you are not alone. i'm not a michael jackson fan, so i'm sure this is a biased fan speaking but i think i prefer wheesung's version. although he's more well-known for his r&b tracks i've always preferred his ballads and his softer songs. okay maybe softer is not the word. it's just the quality of his voice in the song. anyway i just thought it made for a good christmas song even though it's not directly related to christmas. merry christmas, whoever's reading this! (:
tune out the world ; 11:20 PM