Friday, August 28, 2009
i didn't like that.
reasons why i am so happy it is friday and the weekend is here:
1. i feel sick. the awful kind of in-between sick when you're almost sick but not quite there yet so you just feel woozy and can't concentrate on stuff much. i blame the weather and the air-conditioning in fass, which is so horribly cold even when i'm wearing long-sleeved tops. which are a pain in the neck when the weather suddenly changes till it's blistering hot. and i have enough to carry around without adding a jacket to it really. plus being the good student that i am i don't want to miss lectures or tutorials (especially since they've made it so troublesome to miss tutorials) so i'm glad it's the weekend and i don't have to drag myself to school.
2. my parents are coming home tomorrow! hopefully this means i won't have to wake up at 5.30am every friday to take the bus and mrt to school. i still feel awful about the amount of money spent on fuel though. okay i must go get that concession pass as soon as possible.
3. i need to get my concession pass. and i usually don't have time to do so during the week.
4. i can sleep in again! okay so it's only for two days but it's better than nothing. i have been waking up at unearthly hours every single day for the past week and a half or so. and then i had to brave the morning rush hour crowd on the mrt and on the buses.
okay so i don't have that many reasons after all. i'm just happy it's the weekend.
music: wae naman; wheesung
tune out the world ; 11:26 PM
1. i feel sick. the awful kind of in-between sick when you're almost sick but not quite there yet so you just feel woozy and can't concentrate on stuff much. i blame the weather and the air-conditioning in fass, which is so horribly cold even when i'm wearing long-sleeved tops. which are a pain in the neck when the weather suddenly changes till it's blistering hot. and i have enough to carry around without adding a jacket to it really. plus being the good student that i am i don't want to miss lectures or tutorials (especially since they've made it so troublesome to miss tutorials) so i'm glad it's the weekend and i don't have to drag myself to school.
2. my parents are coming home tomorrow! hopefully this means i won't have to wake up at 5.30am every friday to take the bus and mrt to school. i still feel awful about the amount of money spent on fuel though. okay i must go get that concession pass as soon as possible.
3. i need to get my concession pass. and i usually don't have time to do so during the week.
4. i can sleep in again! okay so it's only for two days but it's better than nothing. i have been waking up at unearthly hours every single day for the past week and a half or so. and then i had to brave the morning rush hour crowd on the mrt and on the buses.
okay so i don't have that many reasons after all. i'm just happy it's the weekend.
music: wae naman; wheesung
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 11:26 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
you begin to wonder why you came.
today has been hands down without compare probably the most embarrassing day of my life thus far. just thinking about it makes me want to bang my head against the nearest hard surface and hope for amnesia. but i wouldn't tempt murphy too much by dwelling too long on it. don't ask, if you were planning to anyway.
at least i tried? okay anyhow i think i will live out the rest of my time in nus with a paper bag over my head.
in happier news, my sister's internet account is finally up since the internet guys stopped eating meatballs for a second to process the application i presume. so that means no more smsing across continents which will mean the bill at the end of the month will be slightly less shocking. i hope.
and so far all my tutorials have been good. just that there's more work to do than ever. sea studies alone has three different projects plus one reading reflection. el has an affinity group presentation and japanese studies has one group report. i don't recall there being anything for new media so please don't let any funny project spring up on us. there's just the el tutorial tomorrow and the third japanese tutorial on friday to go for. i hope i have nice TAs for both classes, and nice classmates too. el is the only tutorial that yimean, rach and i have in common despite all our plans to get common tutorial slots. at least there's one instead of none!
met rab today and then sam. and rab and i met wynne quite by coincidence at the bus stop, which is an amazing feat in itself considering the fact that people in the same faculty don't even meet and wynne is all the way further down at yst. will be meeting wynne again tomorrow when we go down to whathewants for my commission and her mac stuff. yay money! don't think it'll be much though, but you never know. i'm always pleasantly surprised when it comes to commission.
i will not suffer a nervous breakdown, i will not suffer a nervous breakdown, i will not suffer a arghhhhhhhhh. ):
music: talpi; wheesung
tune out the world ; 10:11 PM
at least i tried? okay anyhow i think i will live out the rest of my time in nus with a paper bag over my head.
in happier news, my sister's internet account is finally up since the internet guys stopped eating meatballs for a second to process the application i presume. so that means no more smsing across continents which will mean the bill at the end of the month will be slightly less shocking. i hope.and so far all my tutorials have been good. just that there's more work to do than ever. sea studies alone has three different projects plus one reading reflection. el has an affinity group presentation and japanese studies has one group report. i don't recall there being anything for new media so please don't let any funny project spring up on us. there's just the el tutorial tomorrow and the third japanese tutorial on friday to go for. i hope i have nice TAs for both classes, and nice classmates too. el is the only tutorial that yimean, rach and i have in common despite all our plans to get common tutorial slots. at least there's one instead of none!
met rab today and then sam. and rab and i met wynne quite by coincidence at the bus stop, which is an amazing feat in itself considering the fact that people in the same faculty don't even meet and wynne is all the way further down at yst. will be meeting wynne again tomorrow when we go down to whathewants for my commission and her mac stuff. yay money! don't think it'll be much though, but you never know. i'm always pleasantly surprised when it comes to commission.
i will not suffer a nervous breakdown, i will not suffer a nervous breakdown, i will not suffer a arghhhhhhhhh. ):
music: talpi; wheesung
tune out the world ; 10:11 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i want to try and change
am i too young still to not want to grow old anymore?
i can't believe it's only the second week and i'm feeling so swamped already.
music: talpi; wheesung
tune out the world ; 6:16 PM
i can't believe it's only the second week and i'm feeling so swamped already.
music: talpi; wheesung
Labels: bad stuff
tune out the world ; 6:16 PM
Friday, August 21, 2009
i'm not emo, i'm just inherently sad.
finally there's time to catch my breath. it's just the second week of school and there's already so much to do. tutorials haven't even begun yet. i don't really want to think about how much worse it's going to get come next week when tutorials start. i'm probably having quite a good time in fass actually, compared to people in other faculties. like sam in architecture where she has to do things she has never ever done before and the workload is so much crazier than mine. so i'm not going to complain too much.
sadly it also seems like the whole eight month long break we had has definitely made me even dumber than i used to be. there are so many words in my readings that i have to guess the meaning of and some i actually have to refer to a dictionary in order to understand. i haven't had to use a dictionary for english words since primary school. it's kind of disheartening because i'm in a faculty that's going to need so much language prowess and i've always taken pride in at least being moderately good at english. and the readings are interesting but so hard to get through because i'm actually really trying to think through everything and link them to the things covered during lecture. and that means i take double the amount of time reading them so all week-long i haven't been able to complete the required readings before the lectures. plus the people in fass are honestly so proactive and expressive it's scary. for my japanese studies module there's a compulsory forum posting aspect and these people literally type out mini-essays for them.
okay so much for not complaining so much. no one ever said it was going to be easy anyway.
i feel so so guilty for yelling at my dog just now because he kept scratching at the door and whining. dogs have that puppy dog look down pat. they're masters at making you feel bad about scolding them.
anyway my sister is off in sweden and my parents are there till the 29th to help her get settled in and all. six months seems like a very indeterminate amount of time. it's not that long if you think about it, but then again a lot can happen in six months so it's not a very short period of time either. and my sister is a complete mousehunt addict. she's stuck without internet in sweden (how can that be??) so she smsed and told me to go convert cheese for her. -_____-
i need to go back to whathewants to get my last commission. anyone wants to go down? lydia the brushes arrived anyway so let's meet up soon! wynne said she'll be free next thursday so maybe we can meet up then.
music: narak; wheesung
tune out the world ; 8:35 PM
sadly it also seems like the whole eight month long break we had has definitely made me even dumber than i used to be. there are so many words in my readings that i have to guess the meaning of and some i actually have to refer to a dictionary in order to understand. i haven't had to use a dictionary for english words since primary school. it's kind of disheartening because i'm in a faculty that's going to need so much language prowess and i've always taken pride in at least being moderately good at english. and the readings are interesting but so hard to get through because i'm actually really trying to think through everything and link them to the things covered during lecture. and that means i take double the amount of time reading them so all week-long i haven't been able to complete the required readings before the lectures. plus the people in fass are honestly so proactive and expressive it's scary. for my japanese studies module there's a compulsory forum posting aspect and these people literally type out mini-essays for them.
okay so much for not complaining so much. no one ever said it was going to be easy anyway.
i feel so so guilty for yelling at my dog just now because he kept scratching at the door and whining. dogs have that puppy dog look down pat. they're masters at making you feel bad about scolding them.
anyway my sister is off in sweden and my parents are there till the 29th to help her get settled in and all. six months seems like a very indeterminate amount of time. it's not that long if you think about it, but then again a lot can happen in six months so it's not a very short period of time either. and my sister is a complete mousehunt addict. she's stuck without internet in sweden (how can that be??) so she smsed and told me to go convert cheese for her. -_____-
i need to go back to whathewants to get my last commission. anyone wants to go down? lydia the brushes arrived anyway so let's meet up soon! wynne said she'll be free next thursday so maybe we can meet up then.
music: narak; wheesung
Labels: day-to-day, thoughts
tune out the world ; 8:35 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
if i heard that right.
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
okay it went pretty well i think. not going to elaborate on it because it's just like what it always has been. oh but the lecturer for my english module is funny. kind of stern, but funny. and she's japanese! which i found really strange, since it's an english module and all. alright i think i'm guilty of (what's that phrase she said again) language discrimination. see i listen in lectures.
anyway went out with huiyi, dawn, huiling, moses and boonwei the other day. huiyi i didn't say boonwei and company this time! haha. we watched he's just not that into you. and had dinner after that. and i'm definitely a sappy romantic at heart because i actually thought the movie was nice. haha! everyone was groaning about it. but i thought it really was quite a nice movie. gives you lots of stuff to think about too.
OH I WANTED TO ASK THIS AFTER WATCHING THE MOVIE.
"what if you meet the love of your life, but you already married someone else? are you supposed to let them pass you by?”
okay i'm not even going into marriage here. let's just say that person is already attached, and happy with his/her other half. would you go ahead and get to know him/her better in the hopes of having him/her break off his/her relationship? don't even get me started on just wanting to get the know that person better on platonic terms. things don't work that way, not if you already have some interest in the person.
i don't know if it's just my being conservative, but isn't that just a downright horrible thing to do? i know some people think it's alright because you can make mistakes with the person you first choose, and if you find someone else better then you really shouldn't suffer or prolong the relationship any longer. but it's still a stab-worthy thing to do. then again maybe when it really happens to you you can't stop yourself from wanting to break it off. but it's still horrible! okay i have an absurd lack of vocabulary after not studying for the past few months.i felt so much like slapping scarlett johansson when she was coming on to the guy in the movie. and the guy was such a jerk. at least they didn't have a happy ending. but the jennifer aniston couple was really sweet. and the gigi one, actually. alright i suppose no one else knows what i'm rambling about.
you know i always used to think a guy and a girl could have a purely platonic relationship. but you have to draw the line somewhere. so if you want to keep it on platonic terms there will be an extent as to how close you're going to become. and there are tons of examples of friends-turned-lovers if you want to term it in a nice way. even in the movie, there was gigi and alex. and they're not the exception, they're the rule. i know there are also tons of people who have purely platonic friends of the opposite gender. but... okay i will keep my thoughts to myself and not speak.
anyway i love jennifer aniston. she's just about the most awesome hollywood actress ever. and her happy ending was so expected but really nice though. helps that the guy was good-looking.
alright i need to go print more stuff for tomorrow. WYNNE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN VERY LONG. ESTRINA TOO. are you okay? take care alright! and i will meet LYDIA soon when the spree stuff finally arrive. AND MINGSHUAN our going out plans never materialised! let's still meet up okay i haven't seen you in ages. maybe when we finally get all our timetables scheduled properly we can fix a date. and we can call LIYUN too! except she's probably busy studying. never mind we can study together haha!
okay must leave. the horrible new media coursepack gave me three ugly red scratches on my arm. okay four actually, but the fourth one is less severe. so annoying. lunch with sam tomorrow, yay! wonder if rab is free too.
oh and i cut my hair. short! but i feel like cutting it shorter still. hmm.
OKAY BUSY BUSY BUSY.
and i think i am going to join some clubs and stuff after all! i feel like such a hermit and i'm not used to it. OH and fass's reputation for having well-dressed students is so, so stressful. but i still have quite a lot of my pay that i didn't spend... okay i am really off now.
music: narak; wheesung
tune out the world ; 10:07 PM
okay it went pretty well i think. not going to elaborate on it because it's just like what it always has been. oh but the lecturer for my english module is funny. kind of stern, but funny. and she's japanese! which i found really strange, since it's an english module and all. alright i think i'm guilty of (what's that phrase she said again) language discrimination. see i listen in lectures.
anyway went out with huiyi, dawn, huiling, moses and boonwei the other day. huiyi i didn't say boonwei and company this time! haha. we watched he's just not that into you. and had dinner after that. and i'm definitely a sappy romantic at heart because i actually thought the movie was nice. haha! everyone was groaning about it. but i thought it really was quite a nice movie. gives you lots of stuff to think about too.
OH I WANTED TO ASK THIS AFTER WATCHING THE MOVIE.
"what if you meet the love of your life, but you already married someone else? are you supposed to let them pass you by?”
okay i'm not even going into marriage here. let's just say that person is already attached, and happy with his/her other half. would you go ahead and get to know him/her better in the hopes of having him/her break off his/her relationship? don't even get me started on just wanting to get the know that person better on platonic terms. things don't work that way, not if you already have some interest in the person.
i don't know if it's just my being conservative, but isn't that just a downright horrible thing to do? i know some people think it's alright because you can make mistakes with the person you first choose, and if you find someone else better then you really shouldn't suffer or prolong the relationship any longer. but it's still a stab-worthy thing to do. then again maybe when it really happens to you you can't stop yourself from wanting to break it off. but it's still horrible! okay i have an absurd lack of vocabulary after not studying for the past few months.i felt so much like slapping scarlett johansson when she was coming on to the guy in the movie. and the guy was such a jerk. at least they didn't have a happy ending. but the jennifer aniston couple was really sweet. and the gigi one, actually. alright i suppose no one else knows what i'm rambling about.
you know i always used to think a guy and a girl could have a purely platonic relationship. but you have to draw the line somewhere. so if you want to keep it on platonic terms there will be an extent as to how close you're going to become. and there are tons of examples of friends-turned-lovers if you want to term it in a nice way. even in the movie, there was gigi and alex. and they're not the exception, they're the rule. i know there are also tons of people who have purely platonic friends of the opposite gender. but... okay i will keep my thoughts to myself and not speak.
anyway i love jennifer aniston. she's just about the most awesome hollywood actress ever. and her happy ending was so expected but really nice though. helps that the guy was good-looking.
alright i need to go print more stuff for tomorrow. WYNNE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN VERY LONG. ESTRINA TOO. are you okay? take care alright! and i will meet LYDIA soon when the spree stuff finally arrive. AND MINGSHUAN our going out plans never materialised! let's still meet up okay i haven't seen you in ages. maybe when we finally get all our timetables scheduled properly we can fix a date. and we can call LIYUN too! except she's probably busy studying. never mind we can study together haha!
okay must leave. the horrible new media coursepack gave me three ugly red scratches on my arm. okay four actually, but the fourth one is less severe. so annoying. lunch with sam tomorrow, yay! wonder if rab is free too.
oh and i cut my hair. short! but i feel like cutting it shorter still. hmm.
OKAY BUSY BUSY BUSY.
and i think i am going to join some clubs and stuff after all! i feel like such a hermit and i'm not used to it. OH and fass's reputation for having well-dressed students is so, so stressful. but i still have quite a lot of my pay that i didn't spend... okay i am really off now.
music: narak; wheesung
Labels: day-to-day, thoughts
tune out the world ; 10:07 PM
Monday, August 3, 2009
in my dreams you and i dance
i think i must have second child syndrome, because what i absolutely hate most is being overlooked or being second/last resort and that's apparently one of the symptoms of that. which is annoying, really. makes dealing with people so much more difficult because i have to realise their whole world does not and will not revolve around me.
even though today is the official start of semester one i am stuck at home playing patapon instead of attending the freshmen inauguration ceremony because nus is screwed up. so much for having someone "liaise" with us about the dumb ceremony and the flag day. i'm going to go out tomorrow to all your flag day locations and snub everyone who asks me for donations, so there. or maybe ntu has a flag day too... i'll go donate to every one of their tins.
pfft.
okay pon pon pata pon here i come.
music: wae naman; wheesung
tune out the world ; 2:48 PM
even though today is the official start of semester one i am stuck at home playing patapon instead of attending the freshmen inauguration ceremony because nus is screwed up. so much for having someone "liaise" with us about the dumb ceremony and the flag day. i'm going to go out tomorrow to all your flag day locations and snub everyone who asks me for donations, so there. or maybe ntu has a flag day too... i'll go donate to every one of their tins.
pfft.
okay pon pon pata pon here i come.
music: wae naman; wheesung
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 2:48 PM
Sunday, August 2, 2009
with what strength could i hold you
despite all our complaints about cors i guess we all managed to survive it in one piece. and we're all relatively satisfied too, which is a good thing and worth celebrating. i suppose our only grouse now would be the staggering amount of points that we've squandered. i think i have about 50 left over, from an initial amount of 600. and i haven't bidded for my japanese module yet because the waiver only comes into effect in round 3. alright i'll just worry about it when the date approaches. tomorrow's the freshmen inauguration ceremony but i have no idea if i'm supposed to go at all. i'm so clueless about uni stuff it scares me. and i need to go drop off the giro and the psea form. i'm not too sure what the latter is for actually, but the girl who helped me register mumbled this long speech about it which i couldn't catch so i randomly nodded.
... not a very good start to the next few years.
anyway, it really feels like every man for his own in uni. friends you used to have get swept away with their own activities, and even those you're still talking to can barely spare time too. altogether it feels like it'll be a very lonely four/five years. i guess my proclamation of being a hermit is really going to come true. for once in my life i wish i wasn't right. or maybe i do. in any case i'll just work hard to get into an exchange program and run away to japan as soon as i can. because everything and everyone will be new there anyway, and you don't have to make up excuses for anyone else.
at least i have rachel and yimean and ale in fass with me. and angel too! but ale and angel are taking so vastly different modules i don't know if we'll ever meet. i have four common modules with rachel though! hopefully we get similar timings for tutorials too then it wouldn't be so hard to bear. and i hate that you have to go through balloting to get your tutorials. as if the bidding for modules wasn't bad enough.
and peiyen the wonderful modded my psp for me. thanks! i'm probably going to need it so much more in the next few months. thanks for coming all the way down too. sam as well. and sorry i had to rush off.
went to sgh after that because both my grandparents were in a&e. my grandfather hit his head on the wall while in vietnam and was so disoriented it was honestly worrying. apparently when he was walking his right foot would lag behind his left, and he didn't know what he was doing or where he was. but he seems better now. the doctor said something about his brain shrinking but i'm not too sure what that even means. i hope he gets better soon anyway.
...
sometimes i wish i had something real to hold on to.
today i finally found lyrics to wheesung's narak, and knowing the exact meaning of the lyrics at last made me cry. i see what wheesung meant when he warned people not to listen to the song alone.
times like this make me wish i'd learnt korean.
music: narak; wheesung
tune out the world ; 7:45 PM
... not a very good start to the next few years.
anyway, it really feels like every man for his own in uni. friends you used to have get swept away with their own activities, and even those you're still talking to can barely spare time too. altogether it feels like it'll be a very lonely four/five years. i guess my proclamation of being a hermit is really going to come true. for once in my life i wish i wasn't right. or maybe i do. in any case i'll just work hard to get into an exchange program and run away to japan as soon as i can. because everything and everyone will be new there anyway, and you don't have to make up excuses for anyone else.
at least i have rachel and yimean and ale in fass with me. and angel too! but ale and angel are taking so vastly different modules i don't know if we'll ever meet. i have four common modules with rachel though! hopefully we get similar timings for tutorials too then it wouldn't be so hard to bear. and i hate that you have to go through balloting to get your tutorials. as if the bidding for modules wasn't bad enough.
and peiyen the wonderful modded my psp for me. thanks! i'm probably going to need it so much more in the next few months. thanks for coming all the way down too. sam as well. and sorry i had to rush off.
went to sgh after that because both my grandparents were in a&e. my grandfather hit his head on the wall while in vietnam and was so disoriented it was honestly worrying. apparently when he was walking his right foot would lag behind his left, and he didn't know what he was doing or where he was. but he seems better now. the doctor said something about his brain shrinking but i'm not too sure what that even means. i hope he gets better soon anyway.
...
sometimes i wish i had something real to hold on to.
today i finally found lyrics to wheesung's narak, and knowing the exact meaning of the lyrics at last made me cry. i see what wheesung meant when he warned people not to listen to the song alone.
times like this make me wish i'd learnt korean.
music: narak; wheesung
Labels: thoughts
tune out the world ; 7:45 PM