i'm beginning to think that the happiest people in this world must be the pessimists while the optimists are usually the ones who are sad. it makes logical sense because if you're a pessimist you don't expect happiness, so when it comes you're pleasantly surprised and probably genuinely happy. if you're always looking for the silver lining in every dark cloud and expecting life to change for the better all the time then your constant expectations for happiness mean that most of the time you'll be thinking that life will be better than whatever you have at the moment and you'll always be living for the next happy moment to come. and when good things come your way you're less likely to enjoy the moment as much as a pessimist would because you've been expecting its arrival all this while. i know it seems like the pessimist would dismiss that happy moment and go on to contemplate the lack of meaning in life but for that one moment i believe the pessimist experiences happiness to a degree that the optimist never does. which makes it seem better to be a pessimist, really. even if you spend most of your life moping at least when you feel happy you really, sincerely feel deeply that split second of happiness. i don't know if i'm more optimistic or pessimistic though.

i'm not emo by the way, just thinking.

toes hurt from the mitju shoes i got for chinese new year and which i wore only once because they hurt my feet a lot. but my slippers broke last week and i only managed to go get a new pair today. wearing my new sandals make me feel like a red indian because they're all leathery.

will get down to serious studying from tomorrow onwards, which leaves me a little over a week to study hard. all the promises i made to myself to work hard for finals kind of died because of all the pretty decent results i've been getting for midterms and for approaches, good comments for the final big paper. but if i continue not doing anything i'm going to screw up the final papers and end up with a less than stellar final grade and cap anyway. so i'm going to study hard starting tomorrow. i need to find out the exam dates though at the moment i only know the dates for two papers.

random sightings today too, which just teaches you the truth behind "speak of the devil". not that i was saying anything bad, it just makes you surprised to see people just when you happen to think of them or speak of them.