i have survived a week of work! i know it doesn't sound like much of an achievement but it really wasn't easy. it's not like the work is hard or anything, though. in fact it's really quite the opposite i think i've really just spent the entire week reading journal articles so if anything it's like school all over again. sometimes i catch myself almost wishing for more concrete work that's set out for me to do. like write a literature review or something. so far my reporting officer has been really nice about everything and i think he doesn't want to scare me off with too much work. but i feel like i'm not able to help with anything at all. ):

most of the time he just comes by near the end of the work day to check on my progress but so far the two reviews that we've had have only been verbal so i don't even know (a) if my thoughts are structured enough when i say them and (b) whether i've been doing things correctly or not. and i think i haven't been reading academic articles for too long it takes me three rereads for some articles to even understand a little what it all is about. but it's good practice i guess! especially since what i'm doing now is related to what i'm doing in school anyway so it'll all help in the long run.

the worst thing about work now is the time i think. because it's so far away i have to go out and take a bus at 6.30am and since it's not bus 10 there isn't even anything to look at but expressways. and i don't know why but somehow i'm always so tired that i fall asleep almost immediately after i get on the second bus at the interchange. even when i had to go take bus 10 to school for my 8am tutorial it wasn't so hard. and 8.30am to 6pm is really tiring i'm always horribly drained by the time 6pm swings around even if i really have only been sitting in an air-conditioned office the whole day. there's just something about it that totally drains me.

before this internship i really never understood why people were so against doing office/deskbound jobs because i always believed that there would be a kind of satisfaction that came from mundane tasks like filing papers or something. even something like doing up excel sheets. it might be boring but at least there would be some semblance of order in your life. but i've had a change of mind already i think after this internship i will have had enough of being at a desk the entire day. it's funny how doing something so sedentary will make you so tired but i think even a busy weekend at whathewants wasn't as tiring as one day of sitting at the office.

but i was counting the number of days for the internship and i realised if i only count the workdays it only lasts 7 weeks. so i'll make the most of the 7 weeks and try and contribute as much as i can! plus everyone at the office seems so nice. they try so hard to make me feel more comfortable and i really appreciate their efforts. but being so socially inept sometimes all i can do is smile and then i feel bad because if i were them i would think i was being patronising/not even really listening.

someday i should go take a course/get one of those self-help books on how to be a great conversationalist or something and save myself the agony.

anyway i just realised i'll be working away the entire GSS again ): i have no luck with GSS at all i'm never able to shop when it comes around! the next round of summer holidays i swear if i work at all i will go and do some slack part time job that won't take up so much time. i should take time off as a student before i graduate and start work and there's no longer any time left to do anything but climb along slowly till we all fall down.

baek ji young's live rendition of that woman. she has such an amazing voice. and she's really pretty when she smiles! like right at the start. even her eyes crinkle up into smiles as well. it's the kind of smile that's so infectious and i realise this would sound more normal if i were a guy or if i were describing a guy instead. ahem. anyway if anyone reading this has watched secret garden i think that sit-up scene at the beginning of the video before she starts singing is one of my all-time favourite kdrama scenes. it's so cute! :D i feel like rewatching the drama again. hyun bin! :D